Real Love is a Choice

My wife and I have known each other since high school but didn’t date until much later. We had only dated a few months before realizing that we were madly in love. We valued the same things and wanted to be with one another, we saw a future together. I saw a classy amazing beautiful woman that had an extreme amount of values and family principles. Most of all I felt aligned with her.

I was all for it! I remember going away on a three week trip when we first started dating and returning to find Rosina enthusiastically waiting for my return. I knew at that moment we both were committed to start something special together! It made me feel so excited for all the possibilities ahead of us.

The time we dated before we exchanged our vows to be together forever, til death do us part, created a space or a realm of possibilities. In the realm of possibilities wehad created, things that started to look like;

• • • I’m interested in you.
    • You make me feel like I can be a better person
    • Intimate friendship
    • A life Partnership
    • Doing everything together
    • Having fun together
    • Taking care of each other
    • I like you,

Eventually a deeply, profound  love became the possibility. A sense of fulfillment, wholeness, appreciation, respect and admiration for one another lived in the realm of possibilities we created. The greatest part, not a single one of these words were ever mentioned while we experienced this wonder of possibility. It  just came into the space we created for one another.

Love is fully surrendering yourself to another.

Who better to quote than Alan Watts, “When we go back to falling into love, it’s crazy, falling. We don’t say rising into love, there is in it the idea of the fall, we take this risk, it’s the condition of life. All life is an act of faith, the moment you take a step it’s an act of faith, because you don’t know if the floor will give under you. The moment you take a journey, what an act of faith. Any kind of undertaking under relationship, what an act of faith. You have giving yourself up. This is the most powerful thing that can be done, surrender, love is an act of surrender to another person! Total abandonment, I give myself to you”.

Deeply suppressed love needs to be let out! Introduce the idea that true love involves letting go to embrace a more selfless and compassionate approach to relationships.

Love involves surrendering the illusion of control and embracing the interconnectedness of life. It requires letting go of our personal agendas and expectations, and instead, fully accepting and appreciating the other person as they are. This surrender enables a deep sense of empathy, understanding, and connection with others.

Emphasizing that this surrender is not about losing our individuality or erasing our boundaries, but rather transcending our need for dominance and control. It is about moving beyond a self-centered mindset and embracing a more expansive, unconditional love that recognizes the inherent interconnectedness of all beings.

Where does your power come from?

I read this question from a post from Josselyne Herman-Saccio and wow did it ever hit me hard! I thought of all my close relationships especially my relationship with my wife. Rosina and I have been together for over 22 years and I was focused on complaining not acknowledging the source of power that makes our relationship so special.

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/josselyne-herman-saccio-9b9752a_embraceyourpower-transformationaljourney-activity-7092509229495799809-TVD5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_ios

Josselyne Herman-Saccio Post starts by describing, the Cultivating the Power/Source relationship. I want you to create powerfully in all areas of your life. I want you to powerfully honor your word, and this is how you do it….

Think of power like a loop. All power starts from somewhere. Acknowledge the source of your power, when you do this you will become more powerful. When you become more powerful, the source of your power becomes more powerful…and on and on and on. You cannot take credit for anything without acknowledging the source. The same thing goes for power. When you cultivate this power/source loop you will only build and build and build on your power and your ability to be cultivate the power in your relationships.

Where does your power come from?

What’s the source of your power of your love? In the context of human relationships, the power source or driving force can vary depending on the dynamics between individuals. The source of power in a relationship is often derived from various factors, such as:

Love and emotional connection: The foundation of many relationships is based on love, affection, and emotional bonding. These positive emotions fuel the connection and power dynamic between individuals.

Trust and communication: Building trust and maintaining open and effective communication is essential for a healthy relationship. Trust allows both parties to feel secure and empowers them to work together towards shared goals.

Respect and equality: Mutual respect, treating each other as equals, and valuing each other’s opinions and perspectives contribute to a balanced power dynamic in a relationship. It fosters an environment where both individuals feel valued and empowered.

Compatibility and shared values: Shared interests, values, and goals contribute to a sense of alignment and provide a common purpose. When both individuals are aligned and working towards similar aspirations, it can strengthen the power dynamic in the relationship.

It’s important to note that power in a healthy relationship should be balanced and not based on dominance or control. It should be built on mutual understanding, support, and the willingness to compromise.

Source of our Power:

• • • Commitment towards one another. We have a bond. We are madly in love with each other! We have a connection and accept each other unconditionally.
    • Taking care of one another. You may have heard me say this before, our relationship is not just 50/50. Sometimes, you need to cover for your partner’s shortcomings or when they’re going through a tough time, and vice versa.
    • Value of family first! Raising children together. Respecting our immediate family. And having our families interests first.
    • Traveling together ( Family Adventure ) continuing to fill our lives with meaningful moments.
    • Entertaining family, friends, colleagues together. We love throwing parties and bringing people together!
    • Attraction to one another, we enjoy each other, we have a strong healthy intimate connection.  Our fashion, style and our beautiful features.
    • We communicate, not afraid to talk about what’s bothering us or what is going on that day.
    • We enjoy each other’s time together, we are best friends.
    • Spending time together, love just going to the mall, having lunch, going for a walk, cooking a meal together. Etc.
    • Discovering new interests and hobbies together (We are always challenging each other to try new things. Not all of them work but it’s fun to atleast try)
    • We provide personal freedom to one another. We never have to ask for permission to do something, simply inform each other of plans we have. Even the silly ideas!
    • Support one another through our personal and professional goals.
    • We understand each other

Funny as it may seem, the more I think about this topic the more I’ve come to realize that planning to love someone or choosing to love someone is actually one of the most beautiful things about love. I’ve heard it said that real love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. And I feel it’s true, who the hell is perfect.

When all the butterflies have fluttered away and your wedding day becomes a memory, you will discover that you’ve married someone who is just as imperfect as you. And they, in turn, will come to learn that you have problems, insecurities, struggles, quirks and farts just as real as theirs!

Then you will realize that real love isn’t just a euphoric, spontaneous feeling; it’s a deliberate choice, a plan to love each other for better and worse, for richer and poorer; in sickness and in health.

So focus on living with your word! The declaration I-Love-You. Love is created in a moment in saying so! Love is about choosing to walk the path together, surrendering to one another, and focus on the source of your power. I married an amazing person and made an amazing life with her. I’m committed to learning to make our connection un-messable with as my good friend Josselyne Herman-Saccio says.

Thank you to my wonderful partner Rosina, who in her actions has shown me that she is focused on the same goal to be un-messable with.

 To all our supporters, your influence and role modeling is priceless! All I feel we can do is to continue to surround ourselves with your attention and wisdom, our family and friends that feel the same about Love! 

Your Friend

Danijel Slisko